I'm Sorry
by OneWhoSitsWithTheTurtles
Summary: When Rose finally tells the Doctor how she feels, he gets scared and tells her it can never be. Will he be able to turn back the clock and tell her how he feels? [relatively long songfic] 9Rose


Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, because if I did, we wouldn't have a 10th doctor, we'd still have the 9th, but hey, nothing I can do. Let's just hope Doctor 10 will do a good job.

Song: Brand New Day

Artist: Forty-Foot Echo

* * *

_**Never thought I'd say I'm sorry  
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down  
Now when I look out my window  
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around**_

The doctor walked through the empty halls of the Tardis, his head bowed as he walked aimlessly through his trusted time machine. When he lifted his head, he was looking in Rose's old room. It was so painful just to look in a simple room, because it was empty, vacant, and Rose was not there. All of her possessions were gone, taken with her when she had left not two days before.

Anger at himself welled up inside of his body and he slammed the door closed again to keep himself from having to suffer the horrible view of the empty room. He shouldn't have let her go, no matter what had happened, what could never happen, he shouldn't have given her up so easily, and now he had no one to blame but himself, and he hated being out of control. After the echo receded after the act of slamming the door, he turned on his heel and stormed back to the main room of the Tardis, alone to his thoughts.

It all seemed so wrong without Rose there to talk to him, to challenge him, to care about him, to love him. He missed her company, he cared more about her than any other companion he had ever taken to the ends of the universe, though he tried to deny it, and look where it got him. She had flirted with him, he had flirted back, but he was a Time Lord, the _last_ Time Lord, and he was not supposed to fall in love with a human.

_**And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
Tomorrow's a brand new day  
Tomorrow's a new day**_

When she had confessed her love to him, he had been scared, because he had loved her back, always had, but was still stuck in his old habits. He told Rose that it wasn't right for a Time Lord to fall in love with any other species, and that they could never be. He kept out the fact that he loved her with all his two hearts, because that would make it all the more painful for both of them.

"Take me home," Rose said in a monotone. The Doctor had been thrown into shock, she must be joking, she couldn't just leave, he _needed_ her. He remembered looking at her, praying to himself that she would laugh and say, 'good joke yeah?' It never happened. Tears were running down her face freely now, he had done that to her. He felt his hearts clench as she repeated her wish, "Take me home."

He loved her so much; he would do anything for her. He couldn't love her the way she deserved, so the least he could do was take her back home to Mickey the Idiot. He mentally shuddered at the thought of_ him_ or anyone else touching _his_ Rose, but he had made the choice and now, it was out of his hands. She had disappeared down the corridor to get her things, painful sobs being ripped from her body because of her broken heart. As he set the co-ordinates for Earth, he let his tears finally fall. She was leaving…Rose was leaving him for good. He would never see her again, and it was all…his…fault.

_**We said we'd take little time  
For both of us to see  
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on  
Ya, I know I got crazy  
Well I guess that's just me  
If I could turn back time before  
The wrong**_

When the Tardis shuddered and landed about one block from Rose's house, The Doctor quickly wiped away his tears as he heard Rose return down the corridor. She didn't bother trying to hide the hurt in her eyes as the tears continued to fall from her dainty face and glorious chocolate eyes. Their eyes connected for the briefest moment and The Doctor tried to tell her with his eyes what he could never mutter to her out loud. Whether or not she got the message, he never knew, but with one final sob, she swung open the door and rushed out into the busy streets of London.

He could have sworn he saw her slow down for a moment, but then she turned a corner and was gone, gone from his life, gone from him. The smell of chips and car exhaust filled his nose, but Rose's lingering perfume took over his senses, making him feel sick. He closed the door of the police box, letting more tears fall at what a mistake he had done. He may be the last Time Lord, but he couldn't turn back the time to fix this, he could do nothing to fix this, he was powerless, and he _hated_ it.

He couldn't go back to that moment when she had told him that she loved him, he couldn't change his answer, his reaction, and he couldn't go back again. The only thing he could think of doing was to go forward, and never look back. His hearts were breaking and he had to get out of here. The Tardis must have felt his thoughts because it kicked into life on its own, taking him away from Earth, to a year he didn't care about, to a world he didn't want to explore, to a life he didn't want to live.

_**And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
Tomorrow's a brand new day  
Tomorrow's a new day**_

Two days of being alone, without her smile, her laugh, her presence, and he was dying inside. He had survived the Time War; he was the only one who survived the Time War. He had survived Daleks, living plastic, Slitheens, Reapers, well he had sacrificed himself there, so technically he hadn't survived, but Rose and her father had saved him. His hearts broke a little more at the thought of Rose but his thoughts continued. He had also survived a Jagrafess here or there, a bunch of zombies with gas masks, not to mention a German bombing, you name it, whether or not you could pronounce it, he had survived it. And now love was killing him.

He couldn't stand being without her, rules be damned, he quickly changed the co-ordinates on the Tardis's monitor and he prepared to find Rose and tell her _exactly_ how he felt about her. The Tardis couldn't go fast enough as he waited for it to get back to Earth, he couldn't wait to see Rose again, but when the machine shuddered to a stop, he looked at the door leading back to Earth.

He didn't know what he would say, or what he would do if Rose rejected him. He would be lost, would most likely die of broken hearts, but he had to try. But walking to the door, knowing what lay ahead, his whole future riding on this, time couldn't have sped by any faster. Being a Time Lord seemed to make everything worse, he couldn't speed up time when he wanted to, and then he couldn't slow it down when it grew to be too much.

Breathing deeply, he pushed open the police box doors and stepped outside into the London air. Rose was worth this. He headed off towards where he knew Rose's home where she stayed with her mother was as fast as he could, ignoring the stares he was receiving because of his actions and odd clothes. The world was nothing to him, because the only thing he cared about in this moment was Rose.

_**Ya, And I, I think I'll change my ways  
So all your words get noticed  
I think I'll change my ways  
I think I'll change my ways  
Ahhhhh, Ahhhhh  
I think I'll change my ways**_

Finally he reached the apartment doors, and he hesitated for just a second before knocking on the door and waited. Jackie would probably kill him on sight, but he didn't care. Rose may chuck him out, but he didn't care. He would keep trying, again and again, as long as it took, he could go on forever (quite literally) trying to tell her how wrong he had been and how much he really did care about her.

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't notice when the door was slowly opened. He did notice when Rose let out a small whimper as she saw him standing there, head bowed, clearly dying inside. He looked up at her, startled, and their eyes met. The Doctor saw Rose's eyes fill with tears, and she was startled to see The Doctor's eyes fill also.

"Rose, I was wrong. I can never go back and redo that moment when you told me how you felt about me, and I wish I could, with all my heart, but I was scared," The Doctor's head dropped.

"Tell me how you really feel, please, just the truth. I need to know your feelings, behind all these laws of your people, I just need to know this," Rose began to cry silently as The Doctor raised his head to look at her once more.

"I love you Rose Tyler, I always have, and I always will. I was wrong to not tell you before, but…" he looked guiltily at her. Fear also circled in his eyes, fear of being rejected from the woman he loved so dearly.

"…All that matters is that you are telling me now," Rose smiled sadly, "I love you, forever and always, my Doctor."

The Doctor could feel his hearts mending, and could tell Rose's was also, but it wasn't enough. Knowing what he had to do, what he _wanted_ to do, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her in for a long and romantic kiss. When he felt Rose kissing back with everything she had, he felt a Time Lord bond growing around them. This was a surprise, Time Lord bonds were only said to happen between two Time Lords who fell in loved and decided to bond (hence the name), it had never been thought that the bond could be created between a Time Lord and another species.

Rose's eyes opened in shock as she felt the powers of time and space swirl around them, flinging her hair around them, but the kiss never broke. The Doctor looked her in the eye, and the reassurance in his alien blue eyes let her know this was a good thing and her eyes closed once more as The Doctor deepened the kiss. His tongue ran along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, admitting him entrance.

The power around them flared, and finally they broke apart for air. The Doctor leant his forehead against Rose's as they caught their breath. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too Doctor," she smiled at him, "and even though this has got to be the most un-romantic place in the world for our first kiss, it was…"

"Fantastic," he finished for her as he claimed her lips once more.

_**Never thought I'd say I'm sorry  
Never thought I'd be the one**_

* * *

A/N: Well, what did you think? I liked it as my first Doctor Who fic. With the Time Lord bond, I made that up but I'm planning on using it in my longer Doctor Who (also 9Rose) so I'll be explaining that more when I get to that. That fic will be named (most likely) 'Only You', so if you're interested, keep an eye out for that.

A/N2: Please review, I'd love feedback, especially since its my first Doctor Who fic. Thanks and I hope you liked it.


End file.
